Demons in Disguise you might meet in Pagan Subculture and how to recognize them

A satirical (arche)typology, part one

(This article is posted in my humorous category “The Rubber Trout” and contains pretty black humour. You might want to read this disclaimer first.)

As we delve deeper into the Pagan world we encounter not only the Gods and spirits, but also people. Some of them are just like us, some are like we always wanted to be and some are, well, like themselves. Some we like from the first moment on, some we learn to appreciate and some we don’t. Who these are differs from person to person and may change over time, mostly due to an increase in experience. Although we might be tempted to feel annoyed by them, they usually have something to teach us. About people in general, about our little Pagan subcultural bubble, about society, about life, also in general, about – can it be? Can we allow it to be? – ourselves. Yes. Ourselves. Sometimes, just sometimes they may present a mirror to our own weaknesses and eccentricities, making us smile and relax. Nobody may be perfect, but who wants to be nobody just in order to be perfect?

Follow me, dear reader, to a little typology of the imps and demons in human nature, to the peculiar and funny and weird parts within ourselves we tend to ignore and suppress like the demons we encounter in our shadow work. They both draw their strength from our not wanting to accept our own imperfectness and will keep bothering us until we take a clear look at them. In the case of our little imps it then might be enough to laugh them off ;)

So here is a little satirical typology of demons in disguise, of some Pagan characters that tend to pop up no matter whether we want them around or not. Perhaps you will recognize some of them and smile in reminiscence. Perhaps you will even recognize yourself – I certainly did.

Before we commence, please note that this is humour. You are supposed to laugh about what you read, including, but not limited to, yourself, should you find yourself described. Also, “he” and “she” will be used randomly and without any implications concerning gender or an absence thereof.

The Horrible Helper (Category: Imp)

He is always there to give advice he wasn’t asked for, always eager to solve your problems rather than his own. Maybe he has no problems of his own so that he is desperate for yours to solve. Maybe. Yeah. Pigs can fly, can’t they?

The Peepshow Pagan (Category: Demon. Definitely demon)

This one is special, as he (this one actually tends to be male, mostly) is a pretty nonspiritual specimen in a spiritual population. The only thing he is interested in is looking at naked women dancing around the bonfire, body-painting each other, giving massages to someone or being seduced by him. He can be pretty charming when he wants something. Or someone. Is there actually a difference between the two? Not to him, it seems.

The Obsessive Orthopractitioner (Category: Usually imp. Or demon. Depends, doesn’t it?)

“You’re doing it all wrong.” This is one of his favorite sentences, usually followed by an elaborate explanation of what has to be changed and why (“Because Gerald Gardner did it this way”). With any luck you might catch him talking about the importance of copying spelling mistakes in your high priestess’s book of shadows. You might ask why and you certainly will get an answer. Whether you will understand it though is a different matter.

The Disagreeing Discordian (Category: Imp. Mome, if you ask her)

Whatever is said in a discussion, the more heated the better, she will disagree. Not only will she disagree on a matter-of-fact level, she will also disagree for disagreeing’s sake. At least this is what people tend to think. In her own opinion she is just showing you the weaknesses of your argumentation, your misconceptions that hold you in their fuzzy grip, your erroneous ideas of what is or isn’t a law of Pagan nature. You either love or hate her, there is no third option.

The Mushroom Monkey (Category: Impish. And slightly caricatured)

Usually relaxed, the mushroom monkey isn’t concerned about much. Sometimes he seems to be a bit blurry. Not in physical shape, of course, but in his way of thinking n stuff, ya know? Everyone likes him. Yes, everyone. Except perhaps some straight edgers. He is really uncomplicated and easy to get along with. As long as no one contests his right of consuming, and access to, his preferred agent of fuzziness. Then he might, well, not get angry, no, definitely not angry, but agitated about you not respecting him in his himness and wanting to exclude him from *insert random event here*, because having his fuzziness-inducing whatever around the campfire is something highly important to him and all the point of attending *insert random event here* and he obviously didn’t notice that banning all kinds of whatevers wasn’t your idea but the site owner’s. Well, details. Who cares about details?

The Wallowing Victim (Category: Imp)

Whatever happens, it happens to make her suffer. In her world, mere coincidence has a will of its own and is determined to ruin her. Why, you might ask. Does it need a reason, she will ask back. Isn’t it enough that it is against me? In the cold light of day, it isn’t. Misfortune just happens and no one is safe. Except Gladstone Gander, perhaps. She seems to think his degree of luck were her birth right or at least normal and to be expected by every sane individual. Everyone else, it est people with a more realistic view, bravely bear the strikes of fate, like tearing a fingernail seconds before a job interview, for example, or burning the Sunday morning toast. Or having a bad day. Although that might randomly occur, it usually doesn’t plan to kill you. Seriously.

The Far-seeing Sibyl (Category: Imp)

Her insight into the hidden is astounding. She knows you better than you know yourself. She knows you even better than your own mother, and that means something. If you are so inclined and give her a hint that you might be interested in her tremendous wisdom she will jump on the occasion and give you an excessive reading of *insert divination method here*, revealing your deepest secrets which are so deep that even your deepest secrets themselves didn’t know them. Sounds impossible? Go and ask her. She will let the *insert divination tools here* prove it to you, you ignorant person.

This is it for part one. But there will be a part two, perhaps even a part three, so brace yourself for more imps and demons you already might or might not have met. Hail Baubo :)

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